How to resolve the impact of the tragedy of life on us
I often write in my article that the truth is forever No.
The truth of the tragedy of life will make us painful and painful, so it is easy for us to deny the truth of the tragedy and avoid suffering, and the most common form of denial is to strive to create “alternatives.”
銆€銆€For example, Dad is not good, it is very painful, so I am eager to change my father, but this wish has not been fulfilled, so I am eager to change the same man as Dad.
As a result, there was a violent father in childhood, and it was easy to fall in love with violent men at first sight.
There are many reasons for this result, and one very important reason is the persistence of 鈥渢ransformation鈥? which is that we have to complete a transformation dream.
The woman mentioned above had four forced repetitions of “husband hitting his wife” in his life. The first time was that Dad beat his mother, and the third time was that her three husbands beat her. The last husband was a good man.But she must first portray him as a bad man, and then go to play the game of transformation.
銆€銆€The most effective way to end this negative thought is not to play a positive game, but to accept the truth, that is, to admit that you have a bad father, accept that this is a fact that cannot be changed.
銆€銆€When the complete acceptance happens, we will automatically come up with a new idea in our hearts, but this idea is not automatically created by us, but it is automatically generated when the truth is completely accepted. This kind of thought is incredible.The power will free us from the entanglement of pain in an instant.
銆€銆€Perhaps, if the woman completely accepts that she has a bad father, she reinvents the man and completely loses interest, so the bad man’s attraction to her does not exist, she can take energy from this unfortunateFreed from entanglement.
Since then, she has had a game of positive thinking.
However, it must be the expert that the most positive “thinking” is not what her heart has come up with, but it still naturally emerges.
銆€銆€German psychologist Eckhart Tolley, desperate to the extreme at the age of 29, felt unhappy and had the idea of suicide.
However, when it was completely desperate, a miracle happened and he was relieved in an instant.
銆€銆€This miracle of Eckhart-Toli, I discussed with some high-ranking people, they unanimously admit that if he still has any thoughts of his own initiative, liberation will not happen, only full and complete acceptance can be achieved.This realm.
銆€銆€I am in the story of Z, one of the seven articles of my soul: one of the purest sorrows to help you say goodbye to the tragic past, and is called the miracle of Eckhart-Toli, she is in elementary school.When I want to commit suicide in the fourth grade, I will automatically get rid of it in total sadness.
銆€銆€Obsessed with “thinking” will be “blind” in psychotherapy, and the term is close to positive thinking, one is “positive intention” and the other is “positive imagination.”
But neither of these methods ignores the negative A and develops a positive B. On the contrary, both recognize the true communication behind the negative A and ultimately promote inner harmony.
銆€銆€And, can we induce other existences to resonate with ourselves through 鈥渢hinking鈥?
The power of the universe is too mysterious. We don’t talk about this. Let’s talk about our resonance with others.
銆€銆€Give an example of a decade of love for Xu Zhimo.
He believes that Lin Huiyin is the answer to his happy life, and he is extremely attached to her.
It is a pity that the thoughts happen in one, because Lin Hui feels that in the face of Xu Zhimo, only his “mind” exists, and she does not exist, but everyone is eager to exist, so she refused Xu Zhimo.
銆€銆€Taiwanese writer Zhang Defen wrote in her spiritual novel “Meet the Unknown Self”: Dear, there is no one outside, only you.
The meaning of this sentence is also the wish that the world you see and the world around you are your heart to guide you through.
銆€銆€This kind of view has some truth, because we really shape the world around ourselves according to our own heart.
However, in my opinion, unless we can feel the true existence of others, our thirst for happiness is always empty.
Because happiness means harmony with another person or thing, and when we are too attached to our own ideas, does others still exist?
銆€銆€In fact, a positive mind is not a supreme realm.
A better realm, in my words, is simple, in the words of the Indian philosopher Krishnamurti, it is empty silence and meditation, and in the words of the Ming philosopher Wang Yangming, it is “this heart does not move, random and move.”
銆€銆€What does that mean?
That is, there is a truth in this world. If my heart is in a state of emptiness, my heart is pure, and the truth of others and even all things will be noticed by me at the first time. Then I can make a choice.It is natural to be attracted to the perception of goodness, and to be naturally far from being aware of evil.
銆€銆€Moreover, “the heart does not move” is very important, because the heart is moving, what you see is your desire, not the existence of other beings.
銆€銆€Some people may say that a positive heart is not very good?
In doing so, my opinion is that obsessive positive thoughts will form a barrier that will prevent you from meeting the world.
For example, you are always thinking positively, the water is really sweet, which will make you always taste the sweetness when you drink water.
This looks very good.
But when a stinking water is in front of you, you will not be aware of the existence of stinky water because of the positive thoughts of “sweet water”.銆€銆€The estimated resignation of the movie “Secret”, the law of attraction is the mystery of the success of countless celebrities, including Newton and Einstein.
But at least in their laws of physics that confront the world, Newton and Einstein did not have the idea first and then argued about their own thoughts, but the result of their natural reflection when they included themselves in the field of research.
銆€銆€Several of my friends have gone to the famous spiritual classes.
When they came back, they seemed to have changed dramatically, and they were a lot more happy, but I found that they seemed to be indulging in a happy and erratic state, and their ability to perceive things around them dropped a lot.
This kind of happiness is a wall that interferes with their relationship with other things.
銆€銆€Therefore, it is good to think that things are good, and the law of attraction is fascinating, not what is great.
On the road to self-growth, addition is important, and subtraction is more important. We must know our own hearts and touch the painful content instead of simply ignoring them.
Just, understanding them is just to let them go.
Just as a pustule is already an independent existence, if you ignore it, it will become more and more serious, and once it is cut, it will have its impact on itself to the lowest point.
銆€銆€American psychologist Yalong said that he and his wife often play an “imaginary dinner” game, set up to hold a family banquet, specializing in the participants of the class, and after decades, they found that any one hasThe person in question can easily fill a table, but the only person who is truly happy can never get together.
銆€銆€This shows that it is easy to master the “law of attraction” and become a person who feels good about yourself, but it is much harder to become a guest at Yalong’s happy dinner.
(Internship Editor: Deng Biqin)